Your Ego

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This episode of the Quit Playing Small Podcast is brought to you by I quit playing small.com, where you can get your copy of the Quit Playing Small Companion. To this pod, it's filled with daily inspiration you didn't know you needed. Hello, most awesome one. It's Ahyiana Angel, and you're listening to the Quit Playing Small podcast.

Your space for inspired thinking, encouragement, and goodness. You gotta be go. Okay, that was my bad version. Of Beyonce's song Ego . Does that give you any clue what we'll be chatting about today? Let's talk about your ego, or rather our egos. It's funny because as I was looking into this Beyonce song, like we all remember the song, right?

But I went to go look it back up and realize that when she did the remix for the song, who was on. None other than Kanye West. And I was like, Hmm. Beyonce clearly knew a lot more than we knew at that time, and she picked the right person for that track because we have all seen Kanye's ego play out in the subsequent years.

That's another topic for another day. So why are we talking about ego today? I was listening to an interview and um, a podcast interview and they were talking about ego. It came up as one of the questions is a part of the conversation and a point was made that it's not bad to have an ego. It's actually healthy and helpful.

And I was thinking, Yeah, I guess that's true. It can be good to have an ego, but only if you know how to temper said ego. And that was mentioned as well. You can have the ego, but you gotta know how to keep that ego in check. . So this was two celebrities talking, and I'm a believer that most celebrities have a big ego, even if they come off as the most sweetest, humble, mild mannered person amongst their peers, and when they're in front of the camera or the lights are on, I feel like even if only in their most quiet moments or behind closed doors with trusted people. That ego comes out or it can come out. And why do I say that?

Because I feel like you have to be a certain type of person cut from a certain cloth. You must believe your own hype. To a degree to be able to push yourself out there time after time. When faced with the harsh realities of Hollywood, the entertainment industry, you're not always gonna hear yeses. You are not always going to hear people singing your praises, especially when you're on the come-up.

So you have to believe in yourself in a. Wild, ridiculous way in order to keep going sometimes, unless you're one of the rare people who just has it easy and shoots to the top, to star 'em in fame, and you know, you have a easy road. Most people don't. So I feel like a lot of celebrities have to have this.

Big ego sort of tucked in their back pocket somewhere or else it probably makes it hard to make it. So this ego thing got me to thinking, because normally I don't think Aura really talked that much about ego. It's not something that spins around in my world regularly, but just like with the celebrities, for most of us, I feel like it's the thing that's always there, just maybe not always visible or we don't always tap into it.

In a way that feels icky. So what is an ego? The definition as I looked it up is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. Now, this may sound innocent enough at face value, right? But where it gets tricky and the negative connotation comes in, is that last part. When ego causes you to deem your self-importance higher than anyone else around you, often highly accomplished people.

They can develop an ego as a byproduct of their achievements in their success. And this could be celebrities, as we mentioned, or just regular high achievers in day-to-day life in business, and all these other aspects everyone's telling. You are great. People are buying into the hype, and the more that people buy into their hype and cheer them on, the more there enters a chance for one to believe their own hype.

So much so that it can eventually work against you. So as I continued thinking about it, I was like, you know, an ego can really be harmful to us when we allow it to convince us. To not take accountability to let it convince us that our past wins mean that we're all-knowing and incapable of making mistakes.

Instead of being flexible and learning from others and owning our own faults, that ego can blind us. and that's when it becomes harmful to the individual. And I guess you could say also harmful to the other people around you because they're probably impacted by your behaviors. And people with these wild, huge egos can inflict pain and harm and unnecessary emotional distress on people around.

So obviously the harmful side of your ego, the negative side of the ego, let's say the ugly side of the ego is not what we want to lean into. That's not what's going to serve us, but it's worth calling it out so that if we find ourselves creeping into that territory, we can then self-correct, we can check ourselves.

But on the other side of. Sometimes you gotta talk your ish, right? You gotta rep for yourself. You gotta know your worth. You gotta big yourself up. And so now I wanna explore how we can make the ego work in our favor.

My thinking is that in order to quit playing small, you have to let your positive ego lead you sometimes. So these are just a few things that I came up with that you can do when you need to give your ego a boost in order to push you forward to quit playing small. This is my quick running. We can add to it and feel free to DM me if you have anything to add to this list, if you have any ideas or anything that you've done personally in the past to boost yourself up, to give your, your ego a little nudge in the right direction.

The text number, and I'll mention it again later at the end of this episode, but the text number, if you wanna text me what you've done to boost your ego, you can text me at area code 2 0 2 5 6 8 8 1 6 1. Okay, so these are my ideas for boosting that little ego of yours. Try something new that you think you'll be.

Am I thinking what that is? Obviously don't try something that you, you think you're gonna be horrible at, cuz that may just be a Debbie Downer for you. But if you try something that you've always wanted to try and you think you'll be actually good at it, when you get on the other side of it, you'll a have tried something new.

So that'll be a new experience, which will be invigorating and. You'll also have excelled at that experience. So it's just another little thing to tuck in your back pocket that you are good at, like win-win. Next thing is seek out some small wins. Speaking of wins, seek out some things that you know you can achieve.

Check off your list, those small wins. Then ask a trusted friend to share what they think your strengths are. Someone that you regularly maybe confide in, someone who really, really knows you and gets you and understands you. What you're really looking for is for that person to pour into you. So you wanna talk to somebody who is not self-centered, you wanna talk to.

Who is giving in kind with their words and not blowing smoke up your butt, but honestly sees you for who you are and the strengths that you have, then maybe you can daydream about the time you achieved something that you and everyone else thought was impossible. That time where you did the unthink.

Just recall that time in your mind. What did it take? What were you able to do? How did you do it? That will be another boost, in my opinion. For your ego. Identify and embrace what makes you unique or stand out in a good way. Think of the things that. You have that maybe your peers don't have, whether it's your personality, some quirks about your personality, something about your journey or story that makes you unique.

What are some of the things that make you unique or stand out? Lean into those thoughts and um, that will help. Boost your ego, set up a catchup time with a former teacher advisor, or a mentor. And my thinking with this is, you know, when you haven't seen someone in a while, people always wanna know what are you up to?

What have you been up to? And just, just think about it. If this were someone who was maybe like a college advisor and you haven't spoken to them in years, but you have fond memories of them and you all had a really good relationship, it would be so wonderful to be able to go back to that person and share with.

Some of the amazing things that you've been able to do since you all last connected and that will just help you remember how dope you are. Sign up to volunteer or mentor with students in your field. We all feel much better when we are all knowing. Or when we're knowledgeable, let's say more so in a space, and we can share that knowledge with other people when we are knowledgeable and we can pour into other people, it just re-energizes us and makes you remember how much you actually do know and how much you can impart that wisdom on someone else.

So I think that's a good way to do two things at once. To give back, but then also to remind. How much you really do know. Then review your resume. This one is simple. It is a bunch of bullet points of how dope you are. We sometimes forget that our resume can be a really good reminder of all of our achievements, so review that thing if you need a little boost.

And finally, take people up on those opportunities to talk your ish when a friend is complimenting you or singing your praises when introducing you to somebody else. Like lean into it a little bit. It doesn't have to be in an arrogant way, but maybe you can expand on what they mentioned and thank you so much.

It was challenging, but I was able to do X, Y, Z, you know, just kind of like play into it a bit in a very social friendly. Yet confident type of way. So those are my tips. I hope that some of them are useful for you. As I mentioned, would love to hear what you think could work. To help one boost their ego when they need that little push to quit playing small.

So a little bit of ego is good. That's the conclusion that I came to a little bit of ego is good. An awareness of your greatness is good. Just be self-aware enough to know when to use that ego to your advantage. So the next time you're faced with a big decision or an amazing opportunity, be confident enough to.

That you can, but not cocky enough to sabotage your own plan. All right. We chatted all about the ego. We know exactly what to do with it and what not to do with it. I hope you enjoyed today's topic of that good old ego. Go back and listen to Beyonce's song. Maybe it'll get you hyped up. It definitely made me feel good and kind of chuckle a little bit too as I listened to it in preparation for recording this episode.

But in any case, I want you to be confident in everything that you do, in every way that you show up in this world, and I hope that you do that this week and every week to come. Thank you for spending time with me today, and as always, be well. Oh, oh, oh. I almost forgot. Text me if you wanna chat more and if you wanna get my little inside.

Scoop on what I'm listening to, what I'm reading, what I'm doing, and just maybe some occasional thoughts. Text me at area code 2 0 2 5 6 8 8 1 6 1 so that we can be connected. All right. This podcast is produced by Maisie Media. Maisie Media is a women-led podcast production company that works with small businesses and corporations.

Visit Maisie media.com for more details on how you and your organization can go from ideation to podcasting.

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