How to Use Kindness as a Tool

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This episode of the Quit Playing Small podcast is brought to you by IQuitPlayingSmall.com where you can get your copy of the Quit Playing Small book, filled with daily inspiration that you didn't know you needed.

Hello, there good people. I'm Ahyiana Angel and you are listening to the Quit Playing Small podcast, your space for inspiration, encouragement in just good old goodness. I'm so happy to be with you again, this week, we are entering another week of what I hope will be goodness for you. And today what we're gonna talk about is something that's in that "ness" category.

It's kindness. It's goodness, kindness, all of the nesses I love them. So kindness, kindness, kindness. Uh, I think kindness is something that's very often overlooked and so I wanna start with an entry from the Quit Playing Small book and just, just drop that off for you. And then we'll, we'll dig into some more stuff some of my additional thoughts.

Kindness is a tool that most people don't recognize and many often underestimate. I try to make it a point to treat everyone kind that I come in contact with because I've learned. Early on in my career that the gatekeepers are often the people that you least expect. When you treat people with kindness, they remember it.

Kindness is free so dish it out regularly. Throw out compliments, give away smiles, do little things that will make someone's day. This world can be so overwhelming for so many people. The kindness that you give can be the difference between a good day or a bad day for someone. For you, it can be the difference between signing that new deal or not even getting a callback.

So two key takeaways I want you to get from this entry. The first one is that everyone you encounter matters. And sometimes those who appear insignificant to you or to others, they can really hold the most power. Think about something, an executive assistant, somebody that you really want a meeting with, who controls their calendar? Who sets up their day? Who decides who gets on the books and who never makes it to the calendar? That executive assistant does.

So imagine how they're going to prioritize you or not. Depending on how you make them feel. That's one example of how you can make kindness work in your favor. The second thing that I want you to take away from this entry is that you can use kindness as your secret weapon. I promise it will help you get ahead in life.

I promise. It's, it's happened and work for me. If you make it a part of how you normally show up, engage and interact with people, you won't even have to worry about what you're gonna get in return because your returns will be 10 X. You won't even be looking for them, they'll just come to you. So when you are showing up from a space of kindness on a regular basis, you're just being thoughtful.

You are considering others sometimes considering others before you consider yourself. And that just goes a long way. Sometimes people don't even know the power that they hold to positively impact you until you flex your secret weapon and you give 'em a little kind. Just a quick example. And this is like a very simple type of social example, but it illustrates what I'm talking about.

So we were at a rooftop tacos and tequila, not too long ago. And this was a ticketed event. You purchase your tickets in advance. So when you get there, you're not really expected to pay for anything. The food is included. The Tequila tasting is included, but we quickly realized that the food that was being passed around sort of like passed hors d'oeuvres, it was like a mad dash to get the food.

It was super competitive to get your hands on food because they just weren't sending people around with the food fast enough. So one of my girlfriends quickly realized this and being the person that she is, embodying kindness in everything that she does, she was friendly with one of the servers.

She asked questions. She endeared this woman to her, and then not too long after that, she gave the woman a tip. Now you think about. All these people have been pulling at this woman and trying to get her to come over to them, to serve them food for over an hour at this point. And you have one person that sees you that talks to you.

And that actually says, thank you so much for everything you've done today, and then gives you a tip. How are you gonna respond? Favorably, right? So what happened? We all had a certain amount of drink tickets. I think it was five drink tickets or that you were given at the beginning of the event. When my friend gave this woman a tip, that woman pulled out a handful of tickets from out of her pocket and was like here, do you want these? Take them, take them.

That woman didn't know the power that she had in that social setting, because she had what everybody wanted, more drink tickets. Right. That sounds horrible, but you know, we, we living living life, right. So she had what everybody wanted and all it took was for someone to be kind to her, for her to reveal the power that she had.

So I hope that illustrates for you just one of those simple ways that by being kind to other people, it can make a huge difference for you in your day-to-day and just make you happy in the reverse as well sometimes too.

In speaking of kindness, remember I said that I was going to introduce you all to little known days that could be beneficial for us and that we should be tapping into. So today, August 22nd is National Be An Angel Day. Now I have to acknowledge that my name is Ahyiana Angel, right. I just have to acknowledge that because hello. And it felt a little weird when I realized that today is National Be An Angel Day cause I was like. You know, when people are trying to be funny, they always ask like, oh, are you an angel? You know? And it's just like, womp, womp. Okay, that joke is old. But I do like to think of myself as someone who is kind, and I offer this to you that this day is a great opportunity to be aware of how small acts of kindness by you could have a large positive impact on others on a day to day basis, embodying this spirit of being an angel. When, what do we think of when we think of angels? We think of heavenly. We think of kindness. We think of selfless. We think of going out of your way for somebody else. Jane Howard Feldman is actually the one who sparked the celebration of being angel day in 1993.

And she started it by encouraging people to do random acts of kindness. Can you remember the last time that you did a random act of kindness? If so, what was it? Think about how it made you feel. Think about how it made the other person feel, your perception that is. Sometimes I find that those random acts of kindness do more for me actually, and my spirit than how maybe it even makes the other person feel. And I'm especially partial to older people. They're just really often the forgotten, overlooked and loneliest in our society and sometimes they just need that extra helping hand, or even that little chat, that little conversation that can just make somebody's day or give them the interaction that they've been longing for.

So these are things that I try to be aware of. I don't know, like I said, I just have a soft spot for older people and maybe it's because I spent so much time with my grandparents over the course of my life, uh, that older people just, I, I feel like I want to do for them. I want to be kind for them, especially if they have a kind welcoming, open disposition.

But pay attention, pay attention to how often you give out your kindness and, and how you think it makes other people feel. And also how it makes you feel. And let me just throw this in here real quick. I know that not everybody has a good day every day, has an easy life. There may be a lot of things that are stressing you out. But this is where your mental toughness and ability to redirect how you approach your days. This is where that comes in.

You can let things get you down, or you can find ways to turn things around. And so for those of you who sometimes walk around with an attitude or feel defeated all day long, this is a challenge for you to shift that energy to change how you approach your days and change how you approach the people that you come across in your days.

Because if you're given that, that, that. Eh, vibe. That's what you're gonna get back. Eh, attitude ugliness. So give that goodness so that you can get that goodness back and it'll hopefully help you turn around your day as well as help somebody else maybe turn around theirs too.

So I wanna leave you with a few ideas on how you can give the gift of kindness today and all your days moving forward. Maybe it's a big gesture. Maybe it's a small gesture, but these are just some of my ideas. Call a friend just to check in on them and tell them you're proud of them. Give them a compliment something that's going to take them by surprise and make them smile. Offer to help out a friend by maybe babysitting dog sitting or taking any other task or, or responsibility that they may have off of their plate. As long as it's something simple that you can actually execute on cause the last thing that you wanna do is cause more headache for them then need be. So make sure that you can actually handle it, if you offer to do it . Help someone carry their groceries. If you see somebody struggling, their groceries, their bags, whatever it is, especially if you live like a big city and you take public transportation and somebody's going up the stairs and they have a stroller, or they have a, um, a carriage thing with, with groceries or something in it offer to help.

That is such a huge relief to people and it I'm sure it, they will be grateful and it'll make their day. Smile and pay someone a compliment. It could be something simple like I like your smile. Those earrings are so cute. I love that jacket on you. Ooh, your shoes are just popping. Whatever it is, pay somebody a compliment that so many of us take so much pride in our appearance that when someone recognizes our appearance we are happy about it, it makes us smile.

Pay for someone's coffee or lunch. Maybe the person that's behind you in line, like just give them a little treat. Something I'm sure that they won't be expecting, especially if you have the means to do it. And especially in these times that we're in where some people are lacking, where others are not, if you have the means, do it. And finally, make a donation to your favorite charity or maybe a charity that you've never donated to before. Give them some love. Spread some love their way. So these are just a few ideas on how you can spread your kindness for national be an angel day and beyond. And I hope that you get out there, you show your kindness. You flex that kindness muscle and then that kindness shines right back on you.

Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I hope you're feeling activated, motivated, and dedicated to shining today and shining that light on someone else. Let's get out there and Quit Playing Small.

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