Freedom to Speak
This is a Mayzie Media production.
Hello, most awesome one. I'm Ahyiana Angel, and you are listening to the Quit Playing Small podcast. Your space for inspired, thinking, encouragement, and good old goodness. Many of us are intimidated at the thought of presenting or speaking with authority to an audience. Why is that? How can we start to work through our own hangups to create more space for us to use our voices to benefit ourselves and maybe even the greater good?
I invited presentation skills expert and speaking coach Melinda Lee of Speaking Flow to share what her research and lived experiences have revealed.
When we are put in a situation, whether it's at home, whether it's at work, and we feel like our voice isn't good enough, the belief of I'm not good enough, I don't have a voice, is from old beliefs.
Old thinking, think back, go into your heart. Not just your mind, but in your heart. And your heart will tell you if you ask it. What past the moment is still holding you back today? Write it out and document all the limiting thoughts around it. And just journal it out because it's gotta go somewhere when you journal it out, when you talk to people about it, even though you think I've already talked about it enough, but if it's still coming up in that moment, that means it's still bothering you, sorry. You haven't completely gone out. Got out of it. Because it's still following you, and so you wanna journal it out until you can have an inspiring feeling about it, not a limiting feeling. If you're feeling like that moment, oh, I feel embarrassed, I feel ashamed, then that means it's still holding you back.
A lot of times people will speak with their head, meaning they're thinking about and overthinking about what to say. They're overthinking about, am I saying it right? Do they understand me? Especially if you're in the corporate, Uh, we have been taught to write out our script. What are we gonna say? And then we go in all planned out.
And then what we forget is we forget how to connect to the person. And it is scary. So I have had to do a lot of work to tap back into my intuition and allow myself to connect to the other person from my heart. So that means getting back into your heart and doing what you need to suspend judgment to suspend your own thoughts and be in that pause.
That place a pause, which can be really scary for people, but that is the place where you open up possibility and then you can bring in inspiration, new thoughts, new words that will connect to the audience. Because if you have it all planned out in a script and you're thinking and overthinking about what to say, then you've lost your connection.
How can we lean into the power of using our voice, and our experiences combined?
Our voice, when you lock in and believe the true power of your voice, you are going to be inspired to want to share more. Share who you are, unlocking the power of your voice, understanding that you are amazing. You have that seat of potential and realizing our life is short here.
We don't have a lot of time, and so we think we have to wait for a great, big, traumatic experience to share it. That's not necessarily true. The other day a mom said to me, you know, my son is filling out a high school application and he doesn't really have any experience. He just goes to school and goes to softball.
He does, has, has no stories to share. And I said, that's not true. He goes to softball. He probably has overcome a lot of different challenges at softball at school, and she said, you're right. I, he does. So it's about knowing that every experience that you have and documenting it can be turned into a story.
And the more you share your stories, the more that becomes your legacy. My grandmother, she was the fourth concubine when she was 25 years old. She was sold into a marriage to a man who was 35 years, her senior. She not only listened to her husband, she also answered to three other wives. I am the first generation here to be able to say what I wanna say, decide my career, use my voice to inspire others. It's a gift.
Are there little known secrets to developing or having unshakeable confidence when you're engaging in public speaking?
Letting go of what you don't need anymore, before you even go speak. Spend that time, take a moment, 10 minutes for yourself, letting go of all those fears. And all you do to let go of this fear is just document it out, write it out. I feel doubt right now. I feel afraid. I feel like I'm gonna mess up. I feel like I'm not gonna say the right thing and just send it back. Like write it out and send it back to the universe, send it back to God, send it back to higher self, send it back. What I do. Um, that is really powerful that you could do any single part of the day.
Wash your hands like you're going to the bathroom every day. I mean, how we go to the bathroom a lot when you're gonna wash your hands, wash it away, You know, we do that five times a day. Send back any of the limiting thoughts, washing it away with your hands, and it's a visceral motion that will help you feel like, okay, this is time. I'm letting it go, and then you can then get back into presence.
I'm so grateful to Melinda for spending time with us. One thing that she said that really stood out to me and that I'll use as I hit stages in the future is that connection point. Building that intimacy, going deeper with your audience so that they can really feel your message, and it takes away some of the angst as you hit the stage because you're not looking to be perfect. You're looking to connect. Thank you so much for joining me this week, and as always, be well.
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